On September 28, 2021, a Louisiana mother was arrested for the death of her two-year-old daughter, Nevaeh Allen. You can read the story at this link, and you can download the arrest warrant (which includes a narrative) at this link.

The narrative is professional, detailed, and objective. Clearly the officers are experienced professionals who know how to conduct an interview. The writing is clear and efficient. I have a few suggestions, however.

1. This sentence is confusing:

The Defendant became angry and punched the victim in the torso with a closed fist, causing her to fall and forcefully strike her head on a cabinet.

Why “Defendant”? Why not use Gardner’s name?

2.  Another problem is that there are two females in this sentence – Gardner (the child’s mother) and Nevaeh (the victim). That makes “causing her to fall” confusing. The writer needs to make it absolutely clear that her refers to the little girl.

3.  Police jargon slipped in here:

Gardner advised that the victim refused to eat and complained of stomach pain.

Save advised for actual advice! Gardener said that the victim refused to eat. And why is the word “victim” there? Use the child’s name – Nevaeh.

Overall, however, this is an effective report.