On November 3, a 16-year-old high school student attacked Principal Tricia Lampron. The punches were so violent that Lampron passed out for four minutes. Lampron has been released from the hospital and is recovering at home.

The student was charged with Assault and Battery on a Person Over 60, Assault and Battery Causing Serious Injury, and two counts of Assault and Battery on a Public Employee.

You can read more at this link.

So far no one has posted the complete police report online. Today I’m going to use the news report and excerpts from news coverage to make a couple of points about effective writing.

1.  Let’s start with the headline to the news story:

Police report: Boston student punched principal, pulled her hair because she was ‘following her’

Her is confusing: there are two females in the story. Here’s my version:

Police report: Boston student punched principal, pulled her hair because principal was ‘following her’

I can hear some gasps. Are you allowed to repeat a word in a sentence? Yes, of course! Clarity should always be your priority.

2.  Now let’s look at the report:

“…a Safety Service Officer stated he saw the suspect arguing with victim2 then shortly after saw the suspect strike victim 2 while pulling victim 2′s hair.”

“Witness 4 stated he observed victim 2 “completely knocked out” for at least 4 minutes.”

After 4 long minutes that same witness says: “…when victim 2 became conscious she did not know where she was and began crying uncontrollably.”

Many agencies are still using “Victim 1,” “Victim 2,” Suspect 1,” and so on. Officers always tell me that those terms are a huge pain in the neck: names would be much easier. The terms are equally confusing to anyone who’s reading the report.

Why do agencies continue to require this nonsensical practice? I’ve asked many administrators for a reason – and no one has been able to give me an answer. Well, sometimes someone will say, “It’s more objective.” Okay – then why don’t officers use those terms in court? Again (no surprise!) nobody can answer that question.

Here’s the real answer: “Business as usual.” That’s not how professionals are supposed to think!

Here’s a common-sense principle for you: Use names whenever possible. Yes, sometimes there’s a privacy issue. But in this report, there’s no reason to conceal the principal’s name.