The year was 1903, and Sir Arthur Conan Doyle had just published another Sherlock Holmes story: “The Adventure of the Norwood Builder.”

It’s fun to read, but it certainly isn’t relevant to today’s police officers, right? After all, most modern forensic techniques hadn’t been discovered yet. Fingerprinting was brand new then and makes only one brief appearance in the story.

But maybe there’s something in the story for officers today. Let’s take a closer look.

The story is about a homicide, and for once the police were smarter than Holmes–or so they thought. Detective Lestrade, triumphant with the discovery of a bloody fingerprint on the wall, crows, “you must acknowledge that we have been a little in front of you this time, Mr. Holmes.”

Later, though, in a private moment with his friend Dr. Watson, Holmes says, “The fact is that there is one really serious flaw in this evidence to which our friend attaches so much importance.”

“Indeed, Holmes! What is it?”

“Only this: that I know that that mark was not there when I examined the hall yesterday.”

Gulp. At the end of the story Holmes once again finds the true killer. The thumbprint was a red herring, planted there to implicate the wrong man.

What’s the message for today’s officers? Here it is: Always document not just what you did, but what you found (or didn’t find). Writing “I looked for fingerprints” is meaningless unless you add “and found none.” Sometimes – as Holmes knew very well -what you don’t see is more important than what you do see. Write it down so that you’ll have evidence if you need it.

 

When you’re coping with a crisis on the street or in a correctional facility, you’re unlikely to stop and think about a courtroom or hearing room.

But when you sit down to write your report, you should mentally take yourself there. If you’re reporting a crime, legal considerations should shape what you write and how you write it.

What you need to remember is that your report can either support or weaken a case in front of a judge and jury.

Here are a few points to remember:

• Be accurate. An attorney can do serious damage to your credibility if you’ve made mistakes. For example, don’t say “10 feet” unless you’re sure of the distance: “About 10 feet” is better – or “8 to 12 feet.”
• Don’t mind-read. You can’t know for sure what an offender was thinking, planning, or trying. Write down only what you saw: “Inmate Farrell picked up a chair and ran to the table where Hawkins was eating.” You can’t prove that Farrell intended to hit Hawkins with the chair, so don’t insert that information into your report.
• Know your agency’s or institution’s policies. Should you save your notes, for example, or it is ok to destroy them? (Notes can be subpoenaed for court hearings.)
• Make your report clear and readable so that it’s easy to refresh your memory if you have to go to court. Use names, not confusing terms like Victim 1, Suspect 2, and Witness 3. Use active voice so that it’s always clear who did what: A statement like “A baseball bat was found under the table” isn’t much use if you don’t know whether it was you or your partner who found it.

Think about these principles often, and make them a regular part of your writing process. 

On August 10, police were called to a club in Martha’s Vineyard to deal with a dispute between Bill Murray and photographer Peter Simon (brother of Carly Simon). (No charges were filed.) You can read the report below.

https://www.documentcloud.org/documents/4807344-Bill-Murray-Peter-Simon-police-incident-report.html

The report is thorough and professional – but wordy. It rambles, and that’s not an efficient way for busy police officers to write reports. You need to use your critical thinking skills to decide which information is relevant to the matter at hand. For example, it might not be necessary in this report to say that Simon was sitting in his car. (In a different situation that might be important information.)

Here’s a sample from the report:

The RP, Peter Simon, claimed that he was harassed by Bill Murray. I, Sgt. Curelli responded and located Simon seated in his vehicle in the parking lot. Simon advised that he was “on assignment” taking pictures for the MV Thus at Lola’s. Simon advised that he was taking pictures of the people in the restaurant and was accused by Bill Murray. Simon advised that Murray was irate that Simon was taking picture.

Here’s a more concise version:

Sgt. Curelli and I talked to Simon in the parking lot. Simon told us he was on assignment taking pictures for the MV Thus at Lola’s. Bill Murray became angry and poured a drink on Murray’s shirt. Simon told me that he didn’t recognize Murray. Simon told me that shortly thereafter, Murray grabbed him and poured a drink on his shirt. Simon told me that he was not injured but he didn’t think it was right and he wanted an apology.

You could also save time by writing Simon’s statement as a list:

Sgt. Curelli and I talked to Simon in the parking lot.

Simon told us:

• he was on assignment taking pictures for the MV Thus at Lola’s
• Bill Murray grabbed him and poured a drink on Simon’s shirt
• Simon didn’t recognize Murray
• Simon wanted an apology

Other suggestions: Don’t begin your report with “On the above date and time” – it doesn’t add anything useful. Avoid advise (police jargon) unless you actually give someone advice. Told and said are better choices. Often you can omit thereafter and other pompous words.

It happened to all of us when we were kids: During a tense moment, some adult (Mom, Dad, a teacher, a principal, or someone else in authority) ordered us to “Take that look off your face!”

What look? I was trying as hard as I could to be completely expressionless. And, since of course I couldn’t see myself, I had no idea (and still don’t, to this day) what that person saw. Defiance? Mockery? Anger? I’ll never know.

Incidents like that one teach a useful lesson: Don’t try to guess at another person’s intentions.

That principle is especially important to report writing. Labeling a person as “belligerent,” “hostile,” “confused,” “helpless,” or some other mental state is risky. In a court or disciplinary hearing, the person might come up with a totally different description and explanation, damaging your credibility.

The rule for report writing is the same one that professional writers use (and you are a professional writer, after all!): Show, don’t tell.

So, instead of writing that she was “driving erratically,” write down what she did: Crossed the center line three times in less than a minute, or braked five times while approaching a stop sign.

Don’t write that he was “belligerent”: Record exactly what he said to you. Note the signs that signaled to you that a witness was frightened: darting eyes, trembling lips, shaking hands.

Train yourself to notice and remember what people around you are doing. That kind of practice will help you develop the descriptive skills needed for effective reports.

 

Beto O’Rourke is a Texas Democrat who’s running against incumbent senator Ted Cruz in the November election. In 1998, when O’Rourke was 26, he was arrested for drunk driving and trying to leave the scene of an accident. That accident has become an issue in the senatorial campaign.

You can learn more and read the police report at this link.

I always encourage officers to read actual reports with a critical eye. What does the report do well? Is there anything that could have been written differently?

Here’s an excerpt from the Beto O’ Rourke report for you to read and think about. My comments are below.

I met with the reporter who said he was traveling west bound on I-10 and observed a black in color Volvo traveling the same direction at a high rate of speed. The driver then lost control of the vehicle and struck a truck traveling the same direction sending the defendants vehicle across the center median and pointing eastbound. The driver attempted to leave the accident but was stopped by the reporter. It was then determined after a brief interview that the defendant/driver was intoxicated. The defendant was then transported the El Paso Police West side Sub Station Where he was given the Breath Test, subject failed.

My comments:

1.  Overall, it’s an excellent report: concise, objective, professional. There are a few capital letter issues, probably because the officer had a limited amount of time for writing.

2.  To make the report more efficient, I would have used bullet style:

I met with the reporter, who said he was traveling west bound on I-10. He saw a black Volvo traveling fast in the same direction.

The reporter told me the following:

• the driver lost control of the vehicle
• it struck a truck traveling the same direction
• it crossed the center median and pointed eastbound
• the driver tried to leave the accident 
• the reporter stopped him

2.  The report would be more likely to hold up in court if there was specific evidence that O’Rourke was intoxicated:

It was then determined after a brief interview that the defendant/driver was intoxicated.  VAGUE

I smelled liquor on the driver’s breath. When I asked his name, his speech was slurred.  SPECIFIC

3. The report omits two important pieces of information: who drove the defendant to the substation, and who administered the breath test. That information could be important if there’s a court hearing later, and the judge wants to ask questions about the trip to the substation or the breath test:

The defendant was then transported the El Paso Police West side Sub Station Where he was given the Breath Test, subject failed.  PASSIVE VOICE

Officer Jones transported O’Rourke to the El Paso Police West Side Substation and administered the breath test, which O’Rourke failed.  ACTIVE VOICE

4. “Black in color” is wordy and unnecessary. Just say “a black Volvo.”

Like all professionals, officers want to speak and write well. I hope you go over your reports several times to make sure everything is grammatical and correct.

Here’s a problem, though: Sometimes right sounds wrong. Today we’re going to look at three usage points that might sound wrong to people who don’t have a solid background in English usage.

1.  That uniform looks good on you.   CORRECT

The man (or woman) on the street might mistakenly say “looks well.” Nope! “Looks good” is correct. Technically speaking, looks is a copulative verb that requires an adjective. No need to dig into all that grammar, though: just remember that “looks good” is correct.

2.  Major Hanley asked Carol and me to lead the meeting.  CORRECT

Many people, thinking that “I” is more elegant than “me,” incorrectly say “Carol and I” in this sentence. Wrong again. Here’s how you figure this one out:

Major Hanley asked me to lead the meeting.

Major Hanley asked Carol and me to lead the meeting.

For comparison, here’s are sentences in which I is correct:

Yesterday I led the meeting.

Yesterday Carol and I led the meeting.

To learn more, click here and read about Pronoun Rule 3. You can also watch a short video here.

(By the way, you also need to avoid the hideous “to he” construction beloved of sports announcers: Ovechkin passed the puck to he. NO! It’s to him.)

3.  Fifteen minutes is usually enough time to get across town.  CORRECT

You’ll often hear “fifteen minutes are” – a common error. Fifteen minutes is a unit, not fifteen separate things: Use is, not are. On the other hand, you would say “Fifteen laptops are on order” because laptops are separate things. To learn more, click here and read about Rule 2.

Today’s quiz will help you review apostrophes. Scroll down for the answers. (To read an explanation about placing apostrophes correctly, click here. To view a video about apostrophes, click here.)

1.  I saw scratch marks near the lock on the front door of the Browns house.

2. Officer Lewis investigation was thorough and efficient.

3.  The Browns were out of down all weekend.

4.  A TV in the childrens bedroom was missing.

5.  Mrs. Browns jewelry box was still in its usual place, undisturbed.

ANSWERS

1.  I saw scratch marks near the lock on the front door of the Browns’ house.  (house of Browns)

2. Officer Lewis’ investigation was thorough and efficient.  (investigation of Officer Lewis – “Lewis’s” is also correct)

3.  The Browns were out of down all weekend.  (no apostrophe: there’s no “of” idea)

4.  A TV in the children’s bedroom was missing.  (bedroom of the children)

5.  Mrs. Brown’s jewelry box was still in its usual place, undisturbed.  (jewelry box of Mrs. Brown) (For more apostrophes practice, click here.)

Jeff Greene is a candidate in the upcoming Florida primary that will determine the Democratic candidate for governor. A five-year-old incident report about Greene has just come to light about an incident at a beach resort.

Greene was in a restaurant with his family. The music was too loud. To get a server’s attention, Greene “smacked her on the arm.” The waitress said she was not injured, she did not believe Greene intended to hurt her, and she wasn’t interested in having the case prosecuted. (But she did say she was “very offended,” and she later quit her job.)

You can read the story here: https://miami.cbslocal.com/2018/08/09/five-year-old-police-report-surfaces-against-greene/

Here are some comments from me:

1. This is a well-written report with excellent sentence structure. It’s objective and thorough. Clearly the officer knows which information is important and useful.

2.  The opening sentence is unnecessary:

On Monday, 011413, at approximately 1600 hours, I responded to the Police station regarding a report of delayed assault that occurred in December Of 2012.

There are spaces on the first page of the report for the date, time, and location.  Repeating those facts is a leftover from the days when officers used plain paper to write their reports. Officers are busy and shouldn’t be asked to record that information twice.

3.  Other repetition in the report can also be eliminated. There’s no need to repeat “I asked” – “she said”:

I asked her if there were any witnesses and she said yes, that information was documented with the hotel. I asked her if she wanted to prosecute and she said “No.” 

Here’s my version:

She told me there were witnesses, and that information was documented with the hotel. She said she didn’t want to prosecute.

4.  There’s wordiness in the last paragraph, along with passive voice.

She requested a police report for the purpose of documenting the incident. She was issued a courtesy card with a case number for her records. 

For the purpose of is wordy – just use “to.” She was issued doesn’t document who provided the courtesy card.

It’s puzzling that some police agencies – despite emphasizing completeness in police reports – don’t insist that officers record who made the arrest, read the Miranda card, drove the patrol car, provided a victims’ brochure, and so on in the disposition part of a report. That information could become an issue if there’s a court case, and a judge might want to know who performed those actions.

Here’s my version: 

She requested a police report to document the incident. I gave her a courtesy card with a case number for her records.

One final point: this incident is a useful reminder that any report can become a news story years later!

Speaking is not the same as writing, even though we use the same words for both activities. So making the transfer from talking to writing can create difficulties, especially if you’re new to report writing.

Difficulties in transferring from one to the other especially show up in word endings. When we talk, we naturally run sounds together, and we tend to omit letters.

When you’re talking, that’s not a problem. But those omitted letters will detract from the professionalism of a report you’re writing.

For example, listen to yourself while you read this sentence aloud:

Bill tried to find the source of the contraband.  CORRECT

Chances are you ran the “d” in “tried” together with the “t” in “to.” Everyone does it!

Here’s the problem, though: Are you going to remember to write that –ed ending, since you don’t hear it? All too often, officers write sentences like this:

Bill try to find the source of the contraband.  INCORRECT

Here’s another one. Again, listen to yourself read this sentence aloud:

The memo lists the days and times for next month’s meetings.  CORRECT

Chances are you omitted the final “s” in “lists”: It’s difficult to say correctly, especially when you’re talking fast. Unfortunately, the sentence may look like this when an officer writes it:

The memo list the days and times for next month’s meetings. INCORRECT

Male sure you put the “s” ending on lists:

The memo lists the days and times for next month’s meetings. CORRECT

Let’s try two more. Here are phrases that often omit the -ed ending: supposed to and used to. There’s a reason: you can’t hear the “d.” But you still have to write it!

I used to work every holiday. CORRECT

We’re supposed to receive a raise next month. CORRECT

The next time you write a report, take a few minutes to reread it and check the word endings. It’s a strategy professional writers use – and you should too.