These Friday quizzes offer you a quick brush-up on your report writing skills. Answers are posted below.

1. Correct the error in this excerpt from a police report:

Hansen said someone must have seen her put the key under a flower pot. Although, she didn’t see anyone on the sidewalk when she unlocked the door.

2.  Which information could be listed in a police report, rather than written in sentences?

a) Returning a wandering Alzheimer’s patient to his home

b) Reporting the items stolen during a break-in

c) Checking a driver’s license and car registration during a traffic stop

d)  All of the above

3.  Which word choices are better for a police report? Choose one word from each pair:

initiate/begin                                                 next/subsequent     

the abovementioned suspect/Johnson     now/currently

ANSWERS

1. Here’s the corrected version:

Hansen said someone must have seen her put the key under a flower pot although she didn’t see anyone on the sidewalk when she unlocked the door.

Don’t put a comma after although. Although is a word that begins an extra idea. Make sure you attach it to a real sentence.

You could also rewrite the sentence like this: 

Hansen said she didn’t see anyone on the sidewalk when she unlocked the door. But someone must have seen her put the key under a flower pot.

2.  Which information could be listed in a police report, rather than written in sentences?

a) Returning a wandering Alzheimer’s patient to his home

b) Reporting the items stolen during a break-in  CORRECT

c) Checking a driver’s license and car registration during a traffic stop

d)  All of the above

Click here to learn more about timesaving lists in police reports.

3.  Which word choices are better for a police report? Choose one word from each pair:

initiate/begin                                                 next/subsequent     

the abovementioned suspect/Johnson     now/currently

Police reports need to be readable and efficient. Choose plain words whenever you can.

Officers often tell me they’re worried about grammar. They don’t understand gerunds, clauses, and other grammar terminology. How can they be effective writers without that knowledge?

My answer is always that they already know grammar. They’ve been creating sentences all their lives!

What I most often see missing in reports is something they may not have thought about: critical thinking. They may need an experienced officer to show them what’s needed in a report – and what can be omitted.

Efficiency is all about critical thinking. You may be overloaded with information after making an arrest. You need to decide what’s necessary – and omit the rest.

Today I have an example from a domestic violence report:

Upon arriving at the Bethesda West Emergency Room, I met with Nurse Leisen who advised me of the following.

She overheard a male subject stating that he had pushed his wife causing her to fall breaking her hip after arguing with her. I met with a male subject identifying himself by his Florida driver’s license as Edward A. Aronson in room 115.

It’s not necessary say that you arrived at the emergency room and met with the nurse. If you record her statement, it’s obvious that you were there and talking to her. (And please don’t use advised. The nurse wasn’t giving you advice. She was telling you about a possible crime.)

Sometimes suspects (and victims too) give false ID’s. It can be important to show that you did the professional thing and verified their identification. But a hospital patient and her husband are unlikely to fall into that category.

To repeat: Use your critical thinking skills to decide what information is necessary.

Here’s a rewrite that’s more efficient:

I was dispatched to Bethesda West Hospital. Nurse Leisen told me she overheard a man saying he broke his wife’s hip during an argument.

I met with Edward A. Aronson in room 115.

The original version is 62 words. The revision is 33 words – and has all the information needed. Which version is a better use of a busy officer’s time?

Here’s a police report from my files that’s worth reading.

A police department investigated possible wrongdoing in the code enforcement office. After a lengthy investigation, police concluded that no crime was committed, even though the office still couldn’t account for $50 that was missing.

The investigation was triggered by a complaint from an electrician who suspected that a code enforcement employee had overcharged him and pocketed the extra money.

The detective who interviewed the electrician did a fine job. (The electrician also provided a clear, coherent account of what he thought happened, along with a well-organized set of supporting documents.)

What’s noteworthy about the detective’s report? He used straightforward sentences and short paragraphs. The report is thorough, objective, and professional. What’s especially impressive is his use of a timesaving list. (Think of how long it would have taken to write each item as a complete sentence!)

Mr. Zewe provided this detective with the following documentation:

• A timeline detailing his electrical license renewal
• A copy of his cash payment receipt
• A copy of the envelope that his license was mailed in
• A copy of his electrical license from the City of Kenner
• A 2 page copy of Mrs. Gautreaux’s City of Kenner employment application
• A 47 page copy of federal court papers regarding Mrs. Gautreaux’s conviction
• A list of city employees and their telephone numbers who may have information
• regarding possible activity
• A copy of a two page letter addressed to Mayor Yenni from Jack Zewe
• A copy of a letter to Mayor Yenni from Councilman Carroll
• A copy of a letter to Councilman Carroll from Mayor Yenni

Could it be improved? Yes (of course that’s true of most writing!). Here are some suggestions:

• Use “I” instead of “this detective”
• Simplify some of the terminology. For example, write “I phoned Mr. Zewe but didn’t reach him” is better than “This detective attempted to contact Mr. Zewe telephonically and did not receive an answer.”
• Omit some of the wordiness. For example “Based on the above facts” is unnecessary.
• A list could be used for much of Jack Zewe’s statement.
• Use “told” instead of “advised,” which should be saved for actual advice. For example: “Mr. Zewe advised that he believes…” could be rewritten “Mr. Zewe said that he believes…” or (more efficiently) “Mr. Zewe believes…”

If you’re a real stickler (a good thing!), you might want to make the numbers consistent. The report mixes words (two) and numerals (2, 47). (A good practice is to spell out numbers one through nine and use numerals for higher numbers.) Hyphens are needed in several places: A 47-page copy, a two-page copy.

Overall, however, this is an excellent report.

Here’s a quick quiz that will help you review some common issues in report writing. Answers appear below.

1. Which police report will require you to establish probable cause?
a)  You’re dispatched to a bar to break up a fight
b)  You intervene when you see a man hitting a woman in a parking lot
c)  A store manager is holding a shoplifter in her office
d)  All of the above

2. Which sentence is more appropriate for a police report?
a)  The suspect was driven to jail.
b)  Officer Gabriel drove the suspect to jail.
c)  Both are correct.

3.  Can you find the mistake in this sentence?

If our softball team wins its third championship, where all going to Frank’s Grill to celebrate.

ANSWERS

1. Which police report will require you to establish probable cause?
a)  You’re dispatched to a bar to break up a fight
b)  You intervene when you see a man hitting a woman in a parking lot  CORRECT
(This is a Type 4 report. You need to establish probable cause any time you’re the one making the decision to get involved in a situation.)
c)  A store manager is holding a shoplifter in her office
d)  All of the above

2. Which sentence is more appropriate for a police report?
a)  The suspect was driven to jail.
(There are two problems here. Passive voice is outdated: don’t use it in a modern police report. More seriously, this sentence doesn’t state who drove the suspect. What if there’s a question later on?)
b)  Officer Gabriel drove the suspect to jail.  CORRECT
c)  Both are correct.

3.  Can you find the mistake in this sentence?

If our softball team wins its third championship, we’re all going to Frank’s Grill to celebrate.  CORRECT

Where is the wrong word. This sentence requires we’re (“we are”).

Incidentally, its is correct. Use its like his – no apostrophe. THINK: “his third championship” – “its third championship.”

How did you do?

Police officers sometimes feel overwhelmed by all the writing they have to do. Every situation seems different. How can you possibly learn how to write every type of police report – and do it well?

Help is on the way!

1.  The brevity and efficiency requirements for police reports are your best friends. Make every word count. Write short, crisp sentences. Compare the versions below:

Johnson expressed that there were no stolen items on his person, whereupon this officer initiated a pat down, subsequently proving Johnson wrong by finding three expensive items in his pockets, i.e. two watches and a designer tie.  WORDY

Johnson told me he hadn’t stolen anything. I patted him down. I found two expensive watches and a designer tie in his pockets.  EFFICIENT

2.  Learn the four types of reports. The good news is that they’re like a staircase: each type builds on the previous type.

Type 1 is the simplest: facts only. Type 2 adds an investigation (a search or talking to witnesses, for example).

Type 3 adds action by the officer (such as a chase or breaking up a fight). Type 4 is initiated by the officer: instead of being dispatched, you make the decision to get involved in a situation.

Once you learn to think in Types (“Is it a 1 or a 3?”), you’ll feel confident about writing your reports. Type 4 always requires probable cause, for example.

You can download a simple chart explaining the four types at this link. If you’re an instructor or administrator, feel free to share the chart. Many officers say it’s a great help!

I read lots of reports, and – count on it – no matter how good the writer is, I know I’m going to read a @#$%! sentence like this near the end:

The evidence was logged into the Evidence Room.  PASSIVE VOICE

The suspect was transported to the County Jail.  PASSIVE VOICE

An ambulance was called to take the suspect to to MeadowBrook Hospital.
PASSIVE VOICE

It seems that hardly any officer ever bothers to mention who logged in the evidence, who drove the patrol car with the suspect inside, or who called for the ambulance:

Officer Callahan logged the knife and bloodstained shirt into the Evidence Room.  ACTIVE VOICE

I drove Jones to the County Jail.  ACTIVE VOICE

Officer Schmidt called an ambulance to take Wilson to Meadow Brook Hospital.  ACTIVE VOICE

Passive voice is…dumb. Why on earth would a police report omit the identity of the person who performed an important action? But officers do it every day.

I’ve heard of embarrassing moments in court when the defense attorney wants to question the officer who drove the suspect to jail or performed some other action on the scene.

The officer who’s testifying just sits there in embarrassed silence. There were several officers at the scene. Eight months have gone by, and she can’t remember who did what. The police report she wrote eight months ago is no help: All it says is “The suspect was driven to County Jail.”

Why put yourself into that position? Use active voice.

I know a couple of administrators who reject any police report that has passive voice sentences. Good for them! If a report omits essential information, it has to be rewritten. It’s that simple.

On March 26, a suspect in the back seat of a police car swallowed a bag of cocaine – including the plastic bag. You can read the story here.

Here’s the report:

AFTER BEING ARRESTED FOR PROVIDING A FALSE NAME TO LEO AND A WARRANT, THE DEFENDANT WAS PLACED INTO THE BACK OF A POLICE CAR. WHILE IN THE BACK OF THE POLICE CAR THE DEFENDANT IS SHOWN ON CAMERA EATING A BAG OF DRUGS HE PULLED FROM HIS BUTT. THE DEFENDANT PROCEEDS TO EAT THE BAGGY WITH THE DRUGS. THE DEFENDANT DENIED EATING THE BAGGY.  DEPUTY LANEY SWABBED THE DEFENDANTS MOUTH WHICH TESTED POSITIVE FOR COCAINE. THE BAGGY IS BEING SENT TO THE LAB FOR TESTING.

I have some comments:

• The past tense of spit is spat:

THE DEFENDANT SPIT THE BAGGY OUT IN FRONT OF DEPUTY LANEY.  INCORRECT

THE DEFENDANT SPAT THE BAGGIE OUT IN FRONT OF DEPUTY LANEY.  CORRECT

• Baggy means loose: He wore baggy pants and a torn shirt. The word needed for this report is baggie.
• Defendants mouth needs an apostrophe: defendant’s mouth
• Much of the writing is excellent – straightforward and professional. You should strive to write all your sentences that way! Compare the sentences below:

THE DEFENDANT DENIED EATING THE BAGGIE.  DEPUTY LANEY SWABBED THE DEFENDANT’S MOUTH WHICH TESTED POSITIVE FOR COCAINE.  (CORRECT)

WHILE IN THE BACK OF THE POLICE CAR THE DEFENDANT IS SHOWN ON CAMERA EATING A BAG OF DRUGS HE PULLED FROM HIS BUTT. THE DEFENDANT PROCEEDS TO EAT THE BAGGY WITH THE DRUGS.  (NEEDS REVISING)

Here’s my version:

THE SERVICE VEHICLE CAMERA SHOWED THE DEFENDANT PULLING A PLASTIC BAG FILLED WITH WHITE POWDER FROM HIS RECTUM. THEN HE ATE THE BAGGIE AND WHITE POWDER.      CORRECT

Here are three sentences from police reports. Two of them are good, professional sentences. But one sentence is missing an important piece of information. Can you spot the sentence that has a problem?

1. Sitnikov was patted down, and a small plastic bag containing white powder was found in his left back pocket.
2. Carson told me he didn’t hear anything unusual Tuesday evening.
3. When I walked up to the counter, I recognized the woman standing in line in front of me.

The problem sentence is #1. Who patted Sitnikov down and found the plastic bag? The sentence doesn’t say. That omission could be a problem if there’s a court hearing later on.

Here’s a better version of the sentence:

1. I patted Sitnikov down, and in his left back pocket I found a small plastic bag containing white powder .  BETTER

Last October, a major league pitcher got drunk and illegally entered a house through a doggie door. Jacob Nix from the San Diego Padres and a friend, Thomas Cosgrove, told police they thought they were entering Nix’s house.

The homeowner called police and kicked Nix in the face before help arrived. Police charged both Nix and Cosgrove with criminal trespassing.

You can read the entire story here and the probable cause statement here.

It’s a good professional report, but it could be better. I’m going to examine two sentences today:

The defendant was confronted by V1 who engaged in a physical altercation with him by kicking the defendant one time in the face. During this time, the co-defendant T. Cosgrove reached into the doggie door in an attempt to pull the defendant out.

Some comments:

• There’s no need to use the terms V1 and co-defendant. The report is easier to read if you just use their names. (Remember, many busy people – attorneys, judges, reporters, and so on – may be reading your police reports.)
• A physical altercation is a fight. Use clear, plain words.
• “During this time” is unnecessary. Make your reports as brief as possible.

Here’s my version:

The homeowner kicked Nix in the face. T. Cosgrove reached into the doggie door and tried to pull Nix out.

The original version is 43 words; mine is 21. Which do you think is a better use of a police officer’s valuable time?

Today’s post is about a mistake in a police report that led to serious consequences. It’s a good reminder to take some time to review each report before you submit it.

In Louisville, Kentucky, a driver named Joseph Luckett was driving drunk and crashed into another car, killing the driver. But the police report mistakenly stated that the other driver was drunk. Nobody caught the mistake, and a judge lowered Luckett’s bond from $100,000 to $5,000.

Luckett had a previous criminal history. But his attorney pointed out that Luckett wasn’t at fault, according to the police report, and the judge agreed. Luckett posted bond and was released.

Police spokesman Sgt. Lamont Washington later said the arresting officer made a “clerical mistake in the narrative of his citation.” You can read the entire story here.

Anyone can make a mistake! Always check your reports over before you submit them. An officer who’s tired after a long shift can easily get a fact wrong.