Tag Archives: police reports

Your Friday Quiz

This short quiz will help you sharpen your report writing skills.

Earlier this week you did a short exercise based on a 2001 police report about Herschel Walker. Here’s another excerpt from that police report.

You’re going to read two versions of part of that report. Which one is better – and why? The answers appear below.

VERSION 1

She told me that she and Walker had been involved in an “on-off-on-off” relationship for twenty years. He is the love of her life.

Around December 19, she told Walker that their relationship wasn’t going anywhere. She wanted to start dating others.

Herschel then:
 – “lost it”
–  became very upset
 – told her he was going to sit outside her apartment
 – threatened to kill her
 – said he would “blow her head off” when she came outside

VERSION 2

She stated that she and Herschel Walker have been involved in an “on-off-on-off” type relationship for the past 20 years and that he is the love of her life. She stated that in December (she thinks around the 19th) he was over at her apartment and she began to tell Herschel that she was going to start dating again since he did not want to advance in their relationship with her. She stated that Herschel “lost it” and became very upset. He told her that he was going to come and sit outside her apartment and “blow her head off when she came outside.” He then told her he was going to “blow her head off” after he killed her.

ANSWER

Version 1 is better because it’s more both more readable and more efficient. Although the information is exactly the same, Version 1 uses only 79 words. Version 2 uses 120 words: it’s 50% longer.

There’s no need to repeat “she stated that”  and “he told her.”

Notice that both versions are similar in the beginning. Version 1 switches to  a list at the point where it’s needed to save time and energy.

Your Friday Quiz

Today’s short quiz will help you sharpen your report writing skills.

PART ONE  FACT OR OPINION?

Opinions don’t belong in police reports! They have to be objective. Remember too that you can’t claim to be a mind reader. Write what you saw and heard, not what you were thinking.
Put a in front each fact and an X in front of each opinion.

1. The man raised his fists.

2. The man was thinking about punching me.

3. The woman was planning to run.

4. The woman looked several times at the door.

PART TWO   WHICH ONE IS BETTER?

Both sentences below are grammatically correct. But one sentence is more readable and better for a police report. Which one?

1.  Vehicle #1 was traveling in the left lane of Route 95 North in Providence. The driver lost control 500 feet south of Route 195 East.

2.  Vehicle #1 was traveling in the left lane of Route 95 North in the City of Providence when at a point 500 feet south of Route 195 East, the driver lost control.

ANSWERS

PART ONE  FACT OR OPINION?

1. The man raised his fists.  FACT

2. The man was thinking about punching me.  MIND READING

3. The woman was planning to run.  MIND READING

4. The woman looked several times at the door.  FACT

PART TWO   WHICH ONE IS BETTER?

Answer: #2. Although #1 is grammatically correct, it’s too complicated. Short, crisp sentences are a better choice for police reports.

Vehicle #1 was traveling in the left lane of Route 95 North in Providence. The operator lost control 500 feet south of Route 195 East.  BETTER

How did you do?

Your Friday Quiz

Modern police reports require sentences that are objective, concise, straightforward, free of jargon, and written in active voice. Do your reports meet these standards? Here’s a chance to find out.

Instructions: Read the sentences below. Mark each effective sentence with a , and each ineffective sentence with an X. Scroll down for the answers.

  1. The suspect was transported to the county jail.
  2. I was suspicious of what Barton told me and decided to look for signs of forced entry.
  3. The car turned into the Circle K parking lot, and upon observing this, I activated my flashers and siren and followed it.
  4. I asked Novak how she knew that it was 2:19 AM when she heard the banging noise, and she responded that she’d looked at the clock in her bedroom.
  5. Upon observing Filton’s aggressive body language, I advised him to place his hands on the hood of the car.

ANSWERS

  1. X  This sentence omits an essential piece of information: the name of the officer who transported the suspect. Always use active voice. BETTER: I [or the name of the officer who did the driving] transported the suspect to the county jail.
  2. X This sentence doesn’t contain any useful information and needs rewriting. First, the statement that you were “suspicious” about Barton lacks objectivity. Second, it’s a waste of time explaining what you’re planning to do and why. Instead you should write about you did and what you found.  BETTER: I looked for signs of forced entry and found none. OR I found splintered wood and a hole approximately four inches in diameter near the lock on the rear door.
  3. X Omit “upon observing this” – it’s empty filler and inefficient. Better: The car turned into the Circle K parking lot. I activated my flashers and siren and followed the car.
  4. X Omit your questions and just record what suspects, victims, and witnesses tell you. BETTER: Novak said she’d looked at the clock in her bedroom and knew it was 2:19 AM.
  5. X This sentence has two problems. First, “Filton’s aggressive body language” lacks objectivity. What seems aggressive to you might look like normal behavior to someone else. You need to describe Filton’s behavior: “I saw Filton’s balled fists….”

    Second, advised is a poor word choice because it can mean “counseled” or “suggested.” If Filton refused to obey you, his attorney could say that you were only making a suggestion about his hands. BETTER: I saw Filton’s balled fists and told him to place his hands on the hood of the car.

How did you do?

The word Quiz in red 3D letters to illustrate an exam, evaluation or assessment to measure your knowledge or expertise

 

Identifying Passive Voice

Passive voice often causes problems in criminal justice reports. (Here’s a typical passive voice sentence: The vehicle was searched.) It’s easy to see how passive voice can cause problems, especially in an investigation or court hearing: The sentence doesn’t tell who performed the search.

In general, you should avoid using passive voice in your reports. Be careful, however, not to be fooled into “correcting” sentences that were right in the first place. Make sure a sentence is really passive before you change it.

Here are two examples of what I’m talking about:

The suspects were questioned.  PASSIVE VOICE

While we were questioning the subjects, Officer Brown arrived at the scene.  ACTIVE VOICE

“We were questioning” is active voice (OK to use) because you know that we were doing it.

Now let’s look at a series of sentences. Can you see which are passive and which are active? Scroll down for the answers.

Jones was seen running away from the convenience store.

Jones was carrying a six-pack of beer and a bottle of white wine.

Three sobriety tests were administered.

Patterson was looking in his wallet for his driver’s license.

Both witnesses were questioned.

Finch was having difficulty answering the questions.

Here are the sentences again, with the passive sentences labeled:

Jones was seen running away from the convenience store.  PASSIVE  (Who saw him?)

Jones was carrying a six-pack of beer and a bottle of white wine.  √

Three sobriety tests were administered.  PASSIVE  (Who administered them?)

Patterson was looking in his wallet for his driver’s license.  √

Both witnesses were questioned.  PASSIVE  (Who questioned them?)

Finch was having difficulty answering the questions.  √

Reminder: Passive voice is acceptable only when you don’t know who performed an action. Otherwise, use active voice.

The two passive voice sentences below are acceptable because the officer writing the report doesn’t know who broke into the store and who took the money and liquor:

The store was broken into at around midnight.  [PASSIVE – OK]

Fifty dollars and five bottles of liquor were taken.  [PASSIVE – OK]

passive voice test

Matthew Kennedy, Part 2

In yesterday’s post, I discussed an excellent police report that could – however – have been written more efficiently. Today I’m going to suggest ways to make the report (about a recent noisy party in Hyannis Port, Massachusetts) more objective.

See what you think of these excerpts:

I attempted further conversation with this male, but was unsuccessful.

He became even more irate with me.

A male, later identified as Matthew Kennedy, came to the door and immediately became angry with me. He gave me little opportunity to explain our presence.

All of those statements are opinions that a defense attorney could challenge in court. Because it’s impossible to look inside a person’s brain to see what they’re thinking, there’s no way to prove that Kennedy was angry or irate. An attorney could argue that Kennedy is always abrupt or brusque, for example.

And “unsuccessful”can be just as slippery. Maybe the conversation was stymied by outside noise.

So the report needs to give any specific evidence that the conversation was “unsuccessful” or that Kennedy was irate, angry, and uncooperative. Here are some objective statements:

I repeated the question three times, but Kennedy did not answer.

Kennedy shouted [record his exact words]

Kennedy told me that I was [record his exact words]

Kennedy came to the door, and I explained I was a police officer responding to a noise complaint. Kennedy said, [record his exact words] and closed the door.

* * * * * *

Before I go, I want to point out one more persistent problem with police reports: the ever-present advised. Somehow, when recruits enter a police academy, they stop using the words “tell” and “told.” I picture an officer at a restaurant with friends saying something like, “I advised Julie that the Italian food here is wonderful.” Ridiculous isn’t it?

Advise means “suggest” or “counsel.” If you give information or a warning to a citizen, use tell or told.

I advised Kennedy (whom I have never encountered or recognized) that I needed to speak with the owner or person in charge of the home.  CONFUSING

I told Kennedy that I needed to speak with the owner or person in charge of the home.  BETTER

I advised both parties of the Noise by-law violation.  CONFUSING

I told both parties about the noise by-law violation.  BETTER

Harassment vs. Stalking

A recent UK study of stalking and harassment reports came to some alarming conclusions. Although the report concerns British policing, US agencies might find it a useful tool for reviewing their own policies and practices.

Here are some questions that agencies can ask:

  • Do officers know the difference between harassment and stalking (which is a much more dangerous crime)?
  • Do officers take steps to make harassment and stalking victims feel more safe – or do they blame victims?
  • Do officers ever tell victims that it’s up to them to take steps to protect themselves?

Most important (our focus here):

  • Do officers file reports for every harassment and stalking case?

The UK study, which looked at a sample of 112 stalking and harassment cases, found that:

  • none of the cases were handled well
  • fewer than 40% showed that victims were provided with a risk-management plan
  • some victims were told the problems were their fault because they used Facebook and other social media
  • only one-fourth of the cases were handled by detectives
  • in a number of cases, police took no legal action despite victims’ repeated requests for help

An article at this link includes useful information about the differences between harassment and stalking.