yourpolicewrite.com

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The Violence Against Women Act

In Memoriam: Officer Richard Clemens

The Illegal Immigration Debate

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This quiz will help you evaluate your report-writing skills. Each question has only one correct answer. Answers and explanations follow.

1.  Which is appropriate for a professional report?

a)  Jones advised me that he always kept the lawn mower locked in his shed.

b)  I ascertained that someone had attempted to break the lock.

c)  I saw puddles of dirty water on the kitchen floor.

d)  All of the above

2.  Which is appropriate for a professional report?

a)  When I asked Mrs. Kimmel why she had called the police, she said that she had heard a strange noise in the basement, and when I asked her to describe it, she said it sounded like someone was walking around down there.

b)  Boyd stood up, put his hands on his hips, and said, “You aren’t really planning to arrest the police chief’s brother-in-law, are you?”

c)  Because Fowler is elderly, I didn’t expect to get any useful information about the break-in.

d)  All of the above

3.  Which is appropriate for a professional report?

a)  I looked for muddy footprints in the garage but did not find any.

b)  I checked the first-floor windows to see if any of them had been broken. Then I checked the doors for signs of illegal entry.

c)  Jetson was obviously planning to break a window, enter the home, and look for valuables to steal.

d)  All of the above.

4.  Which is appropriate for a professional report?

a)  I advised Kampen to talk to an attorney.

b)  Peters advised me that he had been at work since eight o’clock that morning.

c)  After I questioned them, the neighbors returned to their respective homes.

d)  all of the above

5.  Officer Panning harbors some prejudices against minorities and gays. His superiors should address this problem by

a)  telling him to use passive voice

b)  telling him to avoid “I” in his reports

c)  referring him for sensitivity training

d)  all of the above

6.  Probable cause isn’t an issue if

a)  you’re dispatched to a location

b)  you decide to search a passenger vehicle in connection with a traffic stop

c)  you see a person who’s behaving suspiciously

d)  all of the above

7.  Four versions of an excerpt from a police report appear below. Which version is best?

a)  Listmark was crying and rubbing the left side of her face. She told me Wilton had slapped her face, grabbed her wallet, and left the apartment.

b)  The victim was crying and rubbing the left side of her face. She told me the suspect had slapped her face, grabbed her wallet, and left the apartment.

c)  Listmark was crying and rubbing the left side of her face. I asked her what had happened. She told me Wilton had slapped her face. I asked what happened next. She said he grabbed her wallet. I asked where he was. She said he had left the apartment.

d)  Victim was upset and seemed to be in pain. Victim told this officer that the suspect had mistreated her and stolen from her.

8.  Wording appropriate for a police report includes:

a)  evaded my questions

b)  seemed confused

c)  both of these

d)  none of these

9.  One evening a homeless woman attacks you. She’s known to have emotional problems. Wording appropriate for your report includes:

a)  behaved aggressively toward me

b)  punched my left arm with her fist

c)  crazy and dangerous

d)  all of these

10.  A well-written report

a)  can impress your superiors

b)  might be read by people outside of your agency

c)  can facilitate a prosecution

d)  all of these

Police Report Writing Quiz ANSWERS

1.  c)  I saw puddles of dirty water on the kitchen floor.  CORRECT

“a” is incorrect: Don’t use advised unless actual advice is involved. In “b,” ascertained is vague police jargon: Use “saw” or “heard” instead.

2.  b)  Boyd stood up, put his hands on his hips, and said, “You aren’t really planning to arrest the police chief’s brother-in-law, are you?”  CORRECT

“a” is wordy: You don’t need to keep repeating “I asked.” “c” is mindreading (“I didn’t expect”) instead of observable facts. It’s also insensitive: Many older people have excellent memories and powers of observation.

3.  a)  I looked for muddy footprints in the garage but did not find any.  CORRECT

“b” doesn’t state whether you found any broken windows or signs of illegal entry. “c” offers mindreading instead of verifiable facts (“Jetson was obviously planning”)

4.  a)  I advised Kampen to talk to an attorney CORRECT (“Advise” means giving counsel or advice)

“b” is incorrect: Don’t use “advise” unless someone gives you actual advice. “c” is incorrect: Respective is jargon and an unnecessary word.

5.  c)  referring him for sensitivity training  CORRECT

Officer Panning needs to learn new ways to think and respond. Gimmicks (passive voice, writing “this officer” instead of “I”) aren’t going to change his attitude.

6.  a)  isn’t an issue if you’re dispatched to a location  CORRECT

Both traffic stop-related searches and allegations of suspicious behavior must be justified via specific details in a report.

7.  a)  Listmark was crying and rubbing the left side of her face. She told me Wilton had slapped her face, grabbed her wallet, and left the apartment.  CORRECT

“b” is incorrect because it uses “victim” and “suspect” instead of the actual names. “c” has too much repetition (“I asked her…I asked her…I asked her”).  “d” is vague. Specific details are needed (“crying,” “rubbing,” “wallet”).

8.  d)  none of these  CORRECT

“Evaded” and “confused” are vague. Describe the behavior you saw.

9.  b)  punched my left arm with her fist  CORRECT

“a”  (“behaved aggressively”) is vague.  d)  “Crazy” is insensitive;  “dangerous” is vague.

10.  d)  all of these  CORRECT

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Do you worry about commas? They’re not as tricky as you probably think. You can use commas confidently in almost any sentence by learning just three rules:

1.  Use a comma when a sentence starts with an extra idea:

Wilson had been drinking before he left for work that morning.  NO COMMA

Before he left for work that morning, Wilson had been drinking. COMMA

2.  Use a comma when you join two sentences with and or but:

I saw blood on the sleeve of Cameron’s shirt and called an ambulance. ONE SENTENCE – NO COMMA

I saw blood on the sleeve of Cameron’s shirt, and I called an ambulance.  TWO SENTENCES – COMMA REQUIRED

3.  Use two commas when you drop your voice and raise it again in a sentence:

Burton Memorial Park, which used to attract prostitutes and drug pushers, is now a safe place for children to play.

You can learn more about these comma rules by clicking here.

Today’s Quiz ANSWER Today’s sentence is incorrect. All right must be written as two words. (There are no exceptions!) Chan said, “You want to search my car? All right, but be quick about it.”  CORRECT

This week many federal employees are feverishly working to meet the deadline for compliance with the Plain Writing Act of 2010, which declares that “Government documents issued to the public must be written clearly.” According to Annetta Cheek, a retired federal worker, “Government is all about telling people what to do. If you don’t write clearly, they’re not going to do it.”

Here’s an example from a government pamphlet written before Congress passed the Plain Writing Act:

Winter Preparedness Safety Tips Timely preparation, including structural and non-structural mitigation measures to avoid the impacts of severe winter weather, can avert heavy personal, business and government expenditures. Experts agree that the following measures can be effective in dealing with the challenges of severe winter weather.  WORDY

And here’s a rewrite that meets Plain Writing Act guidelines:

Severe winter weather can be extremely dangerous. Consider these safety tips to protect your property and yourself.  BETTER

The advantages to government bureaucracies are obvious: Clear, simple writing minimizes confusion and saves time and money. Those advantages also apply to law enforcement agencies. Plain Writing guidelines make reports easier to write, read, and review—a boon to busy officers and their supervisors, especially when preparing for a court hearing. Another advantage is that modern writing practices make a positive impression on judges, attorneys, media representatives, and community leaders who read reports.

Here are three writing guidelines that many agencies have adopted:

1.  Use ordinary language rather than jargon. For example, when a citizen gives you information, “said” or “told” is a better word choice than “advised,” which should be saved for actual advice:

Johnson told me she locked the door before she went to bed.  CORRECT

I advised Wilson to discuss her son’s behavior with the school guidance counselor.  CORRECT

Similarly, “I saw” or “I heard” is a better choice than “I ascertained,” which doesn’t document how you acquired the information. Time-wasting and awkward words like “respective,” “above mentioned,” and “being that” can often be replaced with timesaving word choices—or eliminated altogether:

Jones and Chumley returned to their respective offices and then came back with the registration numbers.  WORDY

Jones and Chumley returned to their offices and then came back with the registration numbers.  BETTER

The abovementioned witness said she called 911 because she feared that Faulkner would seriously harm his wife.  AWKWARD

Zoe Collins said she called 911 because she feared that Faulkner would seriously harm his wife.  BETTER

Being that Todd’s shirt was covered with blood, I called for an ambulance.  AWKWARD

Because Todd’s shirt was covered with blood, I called for an ambulance.  BETTER

2.  Use active voice rather than passive voice. In the past, some officers mistakenly believed that passive voice guaranteed objectivity and integrity. Not true! Similarly, writing “this officer” or “the undersigned” does not ensure accuracy. (If only life were that simple!)

Smoke was detected inside the bathroom.  UNCLEAR

I smelled smoke as I walked past the open bathroom door.  BETTER

3.   Be specific. Details and descriptions are often much more useful than vague generalizations:

Lafferty took an aggressive stance and tried to intimidate me with coercive gestures and threats.  VAGUE

Lafferty stepped in front of me.  He raised his right fist to my face and said, “I’m done with you messing with us. Leave us alone.” BETTER

The Plain Writing Act is good news for busy government workers, even those not whose jobs aren’t covered by the new guidelines. You can learn more about Plain Writing at www.PlainLanguage.gov.

What problems do you see in this excerpt from a police report?

At approximately 9:10 p.m. I was dispatched to 30 Sycamore Road in response to a report about a disturbance. I arrived at the house at approximately 9:16 p.m. and talked to John Santaguida. He said he and two friends were watching a football game on TV and began to fight. Santaguida said he was struck in the head with an unknown object. He refused medical treatment and became uncooperative. He was unable to identify a suspect. I was unable to interview either of the two friends.

You should have noted that several statements in this report lacked clarity.

1.  The object was not “unknown” – Santaguida probably knew what struck him. It would be more accurate to say “unidentified object.”

2.  It’s not helpful to write that he “became uncooperative.” Was he silent? Did he argue? Did he leave the room? And what was the issue–answering your questions, having an ambulance called, or something else?

3.  It’s unlikely that Santaguida was “unable to identify a suspect.” More likely he was unwilling. Again, what did he say?

4.  Saying you were “unable to interview either of the two friends” is not sufficient. Were they present? Did they refuse to talk? Or had they left before you arrived?

Today’s Quiz ANSWER Today’s sentence is incorrect: Past should be changed to passed. The car passed me going over 80 mph.  CORRECT

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I don’t know whether the following story really happened, but it makes an excellent point.

Many years ago, the abbot of a monastery owned a cat that liked to wander into the chapel every evening and meow during prayer time. The abbot solved the problem by appointing a monk to find the cat at prayer time and tie it up in another room until prayers were over. Peace was restored.

Time went by, the cat grew older, and finally it died. The monks immediately adopted another cat so that they’d be able to tie it up at prayer time.

End of story.

Do you see the point? Sometimes we perpetuate traditions long after they’ve outlived their usefulness. Like the monks who forgot the original reason for tying up the cat every evening, police officers sometimes forget how traditions got started, and they may be slow to let go of a practice that no longer makes sense.

I started thinking about outworn traditions today when I read a couple of reports with sentences like these:

Johnson was driving a silver two (2) door Yaris hatchback.

Patel said it usually takes him ten (10) minutes to drive home from the office building where he works.

I spoke to four (4) people who said they knew Rodriguez well.

Why are those parenthetical numbers included? I’d be willing to bet that not a single one of those officers could give me a reason. It’s a tradition. Others write numbers that way, so why not imitate them?

Because it doesn’t make sense. Because it’s an outdated practice. Because it doesn’t enhance the professionalism of your report.

The parenthetical-number practice is a military usage that ensures accuracy in risky missions. Or so the military used to believe.

Trouble is, we now have officers who repeat this practice every time they write a number.

Think about the monks and that meowing cat. Times have changed. Let’s drop that meaningless practice!

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Here’s an opportunity to evaluate your police report writing skills by writing your own report.

Watch this TV report about a home invasion last month in Pennsylvania. Then write a police report as if  you were the investigating officer. When you’re finished, click here to view a finished report that you can compare to the one you’ve written.

The homeowner’s name is Cindy Panasuk. She lives at Radburn Lane (you can invent a house number). The break-in occurred on January 31, 2012. The report was logged in at 1:58 pm. Steve Moyer is the neighbor who described the vehicle and suspects.

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Now that you’ve watched the video and written your report, you can evaluate your police report writing skills. How does your report compare to this one?

At approximately 1:00 pm on January 31, 2012, I, Officer Joe Smith, was dispatched to 125 Radburn Lane to investigate a burglary.

Homeowner Cindy Panasuk told me she looked out her living room window and saw a gray sedan pull up. She heard the doorbell ring. Since she wasn’t expecting anyone, she didn’t answer the door. She heard glass breaking and ran out the back door to a neighbor’s house, where she called 9-1-1.

I saw broken glass on the carpet in the entry hallway and saw broken wood in the bottom half of the door.

Panasuk told me her Apple computer, a pair of diamond earrings, a sapphire ring, and three credit cards are missing.

I talked to a neighbor, Steve Moyer, who told me he saw a steel gray Dodge Charger in front of Panasuk’s house. A handicap tag was hanging from the rear-view mirror. The driver was a black man with a green knit cap. The passenger was a large white man about 20 – 25 years old. He has a chinstrap beard and was wearing dark clothes.

How did you do?

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